The Perfectionism-Imposter Loop
We tell ourselves, “I gotta get this right.”
Then, overwhelmed by the standard we’ve set, we say, “It's too much. I can't do this right now.”
The pressure builds until we’re compelled into action. Before we know it, we’re saying, “Just 45 minutes more and then I’ll come upstairs to bed.”
When it’s time to deliver, we think “How could I possibly spend this much time and it it still isn't good enough, they’ll know I suck. I gotta get it right next time.”
And so it continues.
Sound familiar?
This is the Perfectionism-Imposter Loop. We create high standards for ourselves, feel overwhelmed and can't get started, cram or work extra to compensate, then feel insecure about our work. And about what people will think if they found out how much time and effort it took to deliver something that we don't think is good enough anyway / doesn't meet the standards we set.
Getting caught up in this cycle between perfectionism, overthinking, and imposter feelings can be both a sign of 'imposter syndrome' thinking as well as a coping mechanism for anxiety. Noticing the relationship between these components, and especially how you experience them specifically, is a great starting point for making some positive changes.
Start by asking yourself if you do any of the following:
Picking apart every little detail about your work and how you interact with others.
Replaying conversations in your head, searching for meaning or greater understanding about what others might be thinking.
Rereading emails before you send them, trying to anticipate ways things could be (mis)perceived.
Downplaying or criticizing what you’ve done just before showing it to others, as a way to stave off negative feedback.
Going through multiple steps to repost or reprint work if a mistake is spotted.
Not delegating work or tasks to others because you fear they’ll get it wrong.
Not finishing projects because it’s not right or good enough yet.
Not sharing your ideas until they’re “ready”.
Fixating on mistakes you’ve made, even when you’ve received recognition or praise for a job well done.
Waiting until it ‘feels right’ to get started.
It goes without saying, but this is a massive timesuck. The Perfectionism-Imposter Loop steals away time with our loved ones, our self care, our meals, our thoughts. If left to fester, this cycle can lead to deeper issues, such as when procrastination creates chronic anxiety and subsequent buffering behaviours (drinking, escapism, compulsions), or when overfunctioning causes burnout.
How much time are you spending in each step of this loop? What could you do if you had it back?
Get in touch with me for a free coaching Discovery call to learn how you can break your specific Perfectionism-Imposter Loop and reclaim your time. I’ll listen to your specific challenges and give you practical strategies for moving forward. You will have a better understanding of what’s going on and feel more in control of your mind and your time.
