Is it helpful?

Image by Dmitrii Guzhanin from Getty Images

What counts in coaching

Some people want to see what goes on behind the scenes, learning about all the names of concepts and how the various models work. Others don’t care about any of that and simply want to experience the journey. 

Some will be delighted by what they see; others will be made uncomfortable. 

None of that actually matters. 

This is the most important thing

The thing that counts the most in any coaching conversation is this:

Is it helpful?

When I coach someone, that’s the primary question that runs through my mind. 

Put another way, is what I want to share going to move you forward? 

If not, then what I say is likely serving some other purpose, which can be as benign as mood-lightening (may be useful) or as blatant as feeding my ego (definitely not useful). Also, not the job I was hired to do. 

Coaching is not about avoiding awkward moments. Nor creating them for the sake of growth. It’s also not about arming people with an array of tools. Or sparing them from the hard truths they may contain. 

Coaching is about listening to what you need and creating space for what helps.

(And I don't always get it right…that's how you're helping me grow, too.)